Mad Men Starts in 6 Days. Get excited.

July 19th, 2010

Season 4 of the greatest show on TV, Mad Men, starts this Sunday. Don Draper is single and has started his own agency. The possibilities are endless. The only beef that one can have with this show, via Kieran, is that it should be on HBO… for obvious reasons.

And… if you need help with picking up ladies (or guys) take notes from the below video. Please note though, if you try this at work you will 100% be sued for sexual harassment. Unfortunately I know from experience (just kidding mom)

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Follow Me Follow Me… TWEET TWEET

June 25th, 2010

I am as big a fan of Twitter as anyone and I legit get mad when Twitter breaks and I see that stupid fail whale… but Drake and Jimmy Kimmel take that love to the next level. Drop it like it’s hot!

Follow me: http://twitter.com/BrianHawe

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AMERICA… YEAAAA

June 23rd, 2010

This is how I feel after that amazing 1 – 0 USA win over Alergia today in the World Cup:

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French Meltdown: Les Embarrassing Bleus

June 20th, 2010

Expulsions, Internal Confrontations, Resignations & an Underage Distraction

What the hell is going on with the French National Soccer Team?!? Word came out today the French team refused to practice in protest of a teammate being told to pack his bags and head back to France after calling out their coach. “Go fuck yourself, you son of a bitch”, were the apparent words from Nicolas Anelka to Coach Raymond Domenech. The coach gave his striker the opportunity to apologize with no so such luck. Off you go Anelka, have a safe flight home. With more confrontations stirring, staff members leaving, players unhappy with their coach and choosing not to train two days before a crucial match, team director Jean-Louis Valentin resigned stating he felt “sickened and disgusted”. Off you go Valentin, have a safe flight home.

Now, France is typically considered a competitor in the soccer world, finishing in 2nd place last World Cup and winning the tournament in 1998, so most would consider the ongoing drama quite embarrassing. I must be pretty cold-hearted finding the situation quite amusing. And, let’s not forget some of the legal issues some of players may face upon returning to France after teen working-girl Zahia Dehar admitted to sleeping with at least 3 known French players while under the age of 18. Don’t get me wrong, now that she is of legal age, I will openly admit she is attractive but uh oh! Somebody is in trouble! (View More of Zahia!) I really hope all of this serves as a humbling experience for the French. Maybe this is karma after France barely qualified into the World Cup by cheating on a hand-ball goal that was not called and crushed the hopes of Ireland making the tournament. Get your act together guys, or don’t and I’ll just keep writing. Have fun watching the 2nd round from home while you enjoy your crepes! Oh and one more thing, Ricky Bobby Rules! Shake n’ Bake!..Yes, that was indeed a direct shout-out to Talledega Nights.


Potty Mouth on ESPN

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Worst Goal Celebration: Slovenia

June 20th, 2010

Umm, what were the Slovenians doing after they scored? Is this actually their celebration dance? They look like they should be in the background of Stifler’s dance-off in American Wedding.

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World Cup Special: How the U.S. Was Robbed

June 20th, 2010

Friday I watched one of the worst displays of officiating I have ever seen for any sport. Yes, worse than umpire, Jim Joyce’s blown call in which pitcher Armando Galarraga from the Detroit Tigers should have been awarded with a perfect game. If you have followed any of the World Cup so far and especially if you are a proud American as I am and happen to cheer on the Good ‘Ole Red White & Blue then you may feel similar emotions as I do by Friday’s match between the USA and Slovenia: disgust, heart-broken, appalled.

Now, I’ll start off by saying the U.S. was very cold in the 1st and was down 2-0 by halftime. Wait a minute, 2-0 to Slovenia?!? A country of only 2 million. Come on, seriously? Their athletic pastimes consist of gymnastics and skiing, enough said. – I for one believe the U.S. should be a fierce competitor in every sport we engage in, no excuses. – In the 2nd half we saw a completely different U.S. squad, quickly taking shots and stealing possession from Slovenia, which led to goals by Landon Donovan and later the equalizer scored by Michael Bradley (Coach Bradley’s son) which brought millions of fans around the world to their feet. As the U-S-A chants became increasingly louder, any American watching knew we had a chance of scoring again and victory, which would put the US in prime position to advance to the Round of 16.

As the clock winded down, we witnessed U.S. second-half sub, Maurice Edu head in a free kick from Donovan in the 86th minute. Suddenly, the impossible became a reality as Americans filled with joy, cheering, clapping and chanting. Did we just witness World Cup history?? And then, pure robbery and disaster occurred. Not by Slovenians, but by one man. That one-man is referee Koman Coulibaly from the African county of Mali. “Public Enemy Number One”, as I will remember him, disallowed the goal by Edu but has yet to provide any type of clarification. As broadcast stations continued to show replays of the stolen goal, there was not one foul or anyone offsides in which Team USA should have been penalized for. In fact, one could clearly see at least 2 American players being practically bear-hugged by Slovenian players in the penalty box. Who knew UFC octagon rules were allowed? Suddenly the match was now over at a 2-2 tie. While the Americans did have an amazing second half comeback it left the team in a critical must-win situation in their next game on Wednesday against Algeria.

How did this happen? It seemed like a bad nightmare. Coulibaly made several bad calls throughout the game and is now currently under investigation by soccer’s international governing body, FIFA. But even if he is suspended from the rest of the tournament, it does nothing to change the outcome of the game. I won’t lie, I’m pissed and shocked that this could happen on soccer’s biggest stage, the FIFA World Cup, which fans around the world only get to enjoy once every four years. I understand the aspect of human mistakes in officiating but this is ridiculous and unexplainable. It simply should have never occurred. I have confidence in the U.S. in our upcoming game, but with other variables, will it be enough? Or, will Coulibaly’s blown call end up being a key reason for the USA not advancing? I can only hope a victory on Wednesday will lead America into the next round…Team USA, we have faith in you. Koman Coulibaly, I have four words for you…”Don’t Tread on Me”. I hope that guy is never given any type of officiating responsibilities for the rest of his days, not even at a Dave and Buster’s.

USA vs Slovenia: Stolen Goal

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Two Outcomes From Tonight

June 17th, 2010

If you can’t get psyched for tonight’s game then I don’t know what to tell you.  Lakers. Celtics. Game 7.  That’s literally all that needs to be said.  There are only two things that can happen tonight:

If this happens I completely mess myself at the bar:

If this happens I move out of my apartment:

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Losing Revis would be an EMBARRASSMENT

June 4th, 2010

He’s the fucking man…yup. Revis Island bitches.

For the last month or so all we’ve heard from Darrelle Revis and his agent is how unhappy he is with his current contract. Normally I would call a 26 year old athlete that has 3 yrs and 21 million dollars coming to him, ridiculous. But not Revis. This guy is a special player and maybe the most special I have ever had the privilege to watch. At least in a Jets uniform. Normally that’s not saying much. But in this case I think it is.

Revis may could even be a greater assett to the Jets than the “Sanchize,” given that the Jets #1 ranked defense runs through their secondary. A secondary that now includes 2 Prow Bowlers with the offseason acquisition of  Antonio “I have more kids than interceptions since 2007″ Cromartie. I love Mark Sanchez but Revis is irreplaceable in Rex Ryan’s defensive scheme. I think Revis 100% deserves more money than the guy in Oakland. What’s his name? You know. The one with the name I can’t pronounce….Nnamdi Asomuga….that’s it.

To cut to the chase, the Jets have been tremendous with their drafts and free agent acquisitions in the Mike T regime. But they are awful business people when it comes to retaining talent. Especially some of their cornerstone players. Pete Kendall, Laveranues  Coles and most recently Leon Washington. Those losses were bad, not just from a talent/personnel perspective, but also sent a bad message to the fans. Woody wants to sell PSLs? Good luck with that. Especially if Darrelle walks out the door. It would be an utter embarrassment. It would be catastrophic. It would make fans rethink who they root for. I know I would.

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Lakers in 5… BOOOOM

June 3rd, 2010

Tonight is the start of NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics… or how it is otherwise called “non-stop hightlights of the Celtics/Lakers rivalry over the past 50 years”. I am giddy for the Magic Johnson highlight reels that will be shown… like this one (This will 100% be the best 7 minutes of your day):

(This is awkward… I’m legit aroused after watching that. He was so G-D good. So much more entertaining than watching highlights of people just dunking.)

With that said… I am calling Lakers in 5. Here is my reasoning:

  • Kobe > Everyone. Kobe wants to be the best Laker ever (and also the best player ever) and he can never become that without beating the Celtics.  There is so much hatred between these two teams and Kobe needs to fix the catastrophe that was the 2008 Finals.  Say what you want about Kobe as a person, but he wants to win and be great… that is all he cares about (unlike Lebron who just wants to Amaze)
  • Pau Gasol > Kevin Garnett.  This is not 2008 anymore.  Kevin Garnett is a semi-factor for the Celtics but he could be the reason for their win/loss.  If Pau Gasol works him this series, the Celtics have no chance but if KG gets SOME of his 2008 life back it will be a lot tougher for the Lake Show.
  • Ron Artest > Being Sane.  I friggin love this guy.  From his ridiculously stupid 3-point attempt in Game 6 to his game winning put-back you literally have no idea  what he is going to do.  I love him for that.  But seriously… what he brings to the Lakers that Trevor Ariza certainly wasn’t, is that tough as shit shut-down defender.  Good luck with this series Pierce.  You might as well start whining and bitching now.
  • Lakers > Celtics.  Lakers in 5.  Mark it down.

Go Lake Show.

Head to Lakers Nation for a ton of fantastic Lakers content. Fine them of Facebook too.

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My To 5 Most Annoying Things

June 2nd, 2010

There tends to be a lot that gets under my skin. While deciding on what to write about this week, it dawned on me. Why not write about the top 5 things I complain about. I present my top 5 most annoying things

5. People walking in groups and taking up the entire fucking sidewalk

Who are these people that feel the need to walk 3 and 4 people wide, taking up all of the space between the buildings and the curb? I mean this is New York. If you’ve got no where to be, either walk in a singe file or take a cab. If you’re not in a rush in this city there is something wrong with you. Annoying.

4. The Loud whistler

Is whistling that satisfying to people that they have to do it in public? This may be one of the most annoying sounds on earth. And for what? Most people don’t even whistle actual songs. At least whistle me a little tune. Is whistling in gibberish an art form I am unaware of? All I hear is a human beings making bird sounds. Terrible and horribly annoying.

3. The Gym Grunter

I mean seriously bro. You’re not a private gym and it’s obvious there are other people around. Keep it quiet. The last thing I want to hear is you making sounds like your having a violent episode. Disruptive, obnoxious and sometimes uncomfortable to be around. And yes, annoying as shit.

2. The Loud Tapper

I don’t encounter this level of inconsiderateness often, but when I do, it’s brutal. I was on the subway the other day and some moron felt the need to start flicking his metro card back and forth with his index finger for probably 5 stops. How oblivious are some people? Pretty fucking annoying. It actually makes me sweat I get so annoyed.

1. That person who has to sit down next to you on a train no matter how uncomfortable it will be for you or them.

This person is an asshole. Sometimes the act of sitting isn’t comfortable for anybody. Sometimes standing is the answer. Why would you want to sit side-to-side or knee-to-knee with a stranger? This person knows that what they are doing is wrong but it is out of a sense of entitlement that they do it anyway.

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