Best of the Internet
September 30th, 2009
Archive
Archive for September, 2009
Yankees Keep Winning
September 30th, 2009
As you already know the Yankees are playing meaningless games now as they have secured home field advantage throughout the playoffs but last night they had another walk-off win in the Bronx. Who was the honorary hitter? Juan Miranda. Yea, don’t ask because I am not too familiar either. Yes, this game means nothing and means even less if the Yankees don’t make the World Series but it is still nice to see the Yankees going out there and playing great baseball, even when they don’t have to.
Best part of the night though was Burnett: 6.1, 3 hits 1 earned.
Spencer Pratt (and the rest of The Hills cast) Returns
September 29th, 2009
The greatest character in modern acting is back tonight with a new season of The Hills. Those of you who don’t know, The Hills is the greatest show in the history of the world. While Lauren Conrad (LC/my future ex-wife) will be GREATLY missed, the drama with Kristen Cavalleri returning will surely be amazing. I am so pumped. Enjoy!
***EVEN GAYER (not that there is anything wrong with that) UPDATE***
Someone who wants to remain nameless, but may be related to me as an “older brother” type was so excited for the return of “Fleshy” that he Photoshopped (or is it real!?) the following photo:
Feel free to make your own judgements.
Human Centipede – Run, Run away
September 29th, 2009
Remember a few months ago when I posted the trailer for Shutter Island and I told you I crapped my pants just from the trailer? Well I was honestly being truthful. I had nightmare for weeks about that freaky old woman and pee’d my pants a few times (ok that may have been from being blacked out drunk). Anyway that literally is not even in the same GOD DAM FREAKING LEAGUE and Human Centipede, which is a story about a doctor who first detaches Siamese twins but then goes crazy and decides to sew 3 people together from ass to mouth to create one large digestive track..
In The Human Centipede, Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser) is a leering, sepulchral surgeon from Germany whose specialty is separating Siamese twins. Dr. Heiter decides to evolve his craft by sewing together living beings together at the “mucous-cutaneous zone” (guess) in order to create Siamese triplets with a single digestive system. After his experiment in creating a three-segment rottweiler (”a beautiful three-hound construction”) fails, Dr. Heiter tries again, shifting his attention to humans. First, a trucker is stolen away while relieving himself on the side of the road, Next, two clueless party girls who come knocking on Dr. Heiter’s door after getting lost in the German forest get pulled into the experiment. After erasing the trucker from the picture, the doctor finds another victim: a crazed Japanese man wandering around Germany. The doctor concludes the initial phase of his experiment by splicing together the two girls and the Japanese man. At this stage, the film really goes berserk as Dr. Heiter attempts to impose his personal brand of order and discipline on an increasingly out-of-control situation. [via Twitch] (Via FilmDrunk)
THIS IS BORDERLINE NSFW, NO T & A BUT DOES SHOW A NASTY SURGURY SCENE AND OF COURSE A WOMANS MOUTH SEWED TO AN ANUS.
I just ate and then just threw up.
Real or Fake?
September 28th, 2009
This is a tough one for me. I mean we all know that both Arthur and I enjoy Entourage, but WE ALL KNOW that Adrian Grenier has literally zero talent, which leads me to believe there is a slight chance this is real, which if it is would be fucking incredible..
On a side note, sorry for the sabatical, timmy “the fish” wilson broke one of my knee caps after my 2-4 opening weekend of football picks…
The Silent Years
September 28th, 2009
Thanks to Kieran for the tip on this “If the voice over from Wonder Years was removed…” clip. Growing up our family, in between having to sew our own clothes and rummaging through trash cans for food, would all sit together and watch The Wonder Years together. Winnie Cooper is still in my top 5… and will ALWAYS be there no matter what. It’s not like she’s famous anymore… I bet I have a chance. I wish she was on Twitter. Winnie, if you see this, @ message me.
Yankees Win Division/Home Field Advantage
September 28th, 2009
Yesterday, the Yankees completed a sweep of the Boston Red Sox and clinched not only the AL East but home field advantage throughout the playoffs. That and a quarter can get you a rub and tug in Thailand. While you would rather have home field advantage than not, if the Yankees do not make the World Series it means as much as a bag of crap on your doorstep. Everyone is saying the right things in the clubhouse but the only thing to do now is take the long division series, put Joba in the bullpen for the ALDS, set up the rotation and win.
Favre Makes Game Winning Throw, Catch and Extra Point
September 28th, 2009
FAVRE DID IT! Greg Lewis who dove, jumped and grabbed the football with his finger tips had nothing to do with it. Favre is just so good that he MADE Lewis make that catch.
Lonely Woman Teaches Dog to Ride Tandem
September 25th, 2009
How lonely does a person have to be to buy a tandem bicycle and then realize they don’t have any friends so they have to teach their dog to ride? Speaking of, anyone have a dog I can have?
Leroy Smith – Gift to the Game
September 23rd, 2009
It’s been awhile since we have featured the Michael Jordan of Motivating Michael Jordan, but now he is back with his first video “Gift of the Game”. I just made this my ringtone.
On a side note, do we know what this viral campaign in linked to yet? Has to be Nike right?