Buzz Bissinger has a great article in the NY Times today on where he thinks Lebron’s next move will be. He co-wrote Shooting Stars with Lebron so I guess that gives him a better idea of what LBJ will go… or not. Who the hell knows. In any rate, this is the best article/opinion I have seen about where Lebron will go… until now.
There are only three teams where LBJ will go:
Los Angeles Clippers – Lebron cares more about his image/overall business than winning. He has never had a killer instinct and that’s something you can’t just “figure out”. He will never be Magic, Bird or Jordan so I hope people can stop comparing him to those people. He’ll be more of a Russell Simmons. That’s right… you heard it hear first. Anyways, if what I think is true then he wants to be in LA. Also, how great would it be for his “ego” to take LA and the Staples center away from Kobe? Everyone is now saying Kobe has what he will never have (by everyone I mean me) so why not stick it to Kobe on his home court? Plus, he will have to attract bigger celebrities than Malcom in the Middle right?
New York Knicks – All of the reasons above times a bazillion. Lebron bringing the first championship to NY since 1973 (I think that’s the year but I don’t care enough to go double check the date) would make him a GOD. As I have said to everyone who will listen, imagine the 20 story black and white billboard of Lebron doing his “powder throw” in a Knicks jersey hanging up in Times Square? People will go b-a-n-a-n-a-s. That’s right, I just made a Gwen Stefani reference… don’t judge me. People say the Knicks won’t give him a championship. Well, one he doesn’t care about winning and two him and Chris Bosh and a few other key players that the Knicks currently have will 100% be automatic title contenders.
New Jersey Nyets – This is solely because in a year they will be in Brooklyn, have Jay-z as a partial owner and have the greatest owner in the history of owners. I don’t really think he’ll be a Nyet, I just wanted an excuse to post to that article. I love that guy.
A lot of people are saying he is going to go to Chicago (best chance to win immediately) or stay in Cleveland (was born in Akron, home town hero, etc) and I couldn’t disagree more. As I have mentioned, LBJ does not care about anything but his brand. He could care less about winning. He wants celebrities sitting courtside and to become better than Jordan (as a Global brand). I don’t hate on him for it, as a fervent capitalist I applaud his effort… sooner or later everyone will realize the same thing.
Prediction: LBJ will be a New York Knick. Lock it down.
So this dude Aziz Ansari was in Scrubs for a few episodes and is now in that Amy Poehler show Parks & Recreation (actually… that may have gotten cancelled but his part was pretty funny). Anyway, a came across his stand-up this morning and while he is a little annoying, I think he is friggin hilarious. Actually… I will give you another video of his right here: BAM!
***UPDATE*** So I guess this “RANDY” character is from the new Apatow movie Funny People. I have no idea if this is from the movie, some viral ad campaign or… I have no idea. Basically I just don’t care enough and I think the videos are hilarious.
This coach is hilarious… even though I can’t understand a word of this entire clip I think it is fantastic.
My issue, though, is with the guy the coach bumps into. How friggin lame are some soccer players with this taking a dive thing? The coach barely taps him and the player’s squirming on the ground in pain. There are two options here: one, he is a giant labia or two, he is a complete fake. I go with he is a complete fake. I have seen better performances by drunkards trying one last time to take a girl home after last call.
Everyone knows that after eating asparagus your pee smells but no one knows why. Well, that’s what I am here for. Here is what I found from from StraightDope.com:
“Benjamin Franklin, in a wide-ranging discussion of bodily discharges, once noted, “a few stems of asparagus eaten shall give our urine a disagreeable odor; and a pill of turpentine no bigger than a pea shall bestow upon it the pleasing smell of violets.”
It is said that in a venerable British men’s club there is a sign reading “DURING THE ASPARAGUS SEASON MEMBERS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO RELIEVE THEMSELVES IN THE HATSTAND.”
Serious scientific research in this field dates back to 1891, when M. Nencki tentatively identified a compound known as methanethiol as the culprit. The odor appears within an hour after eating just a few spears of the offending vegetable.
According to Allison and McWhirter (1956), the ability to produce the odor is controlled by a single autosomal (i.e., non-sex-related) dominant gene. In a sample of 115 persons, 46 were rendered fragrant by asparagus and 63 were not. (This leaves 6 mysteriously unaccounted for. Urology is an inexact science, I guess.)
In 1975 one Robert H. White, then with the chemistry department at the University of California at San Diego, found that the odor-causing chemical was not methanethiol after all.
Instead, using gas chromatography-mass spectrometry (Bob was obviously not one to screw around), he found that the aroma was in fact caused by several S-methyl thioesters, specifically S-methyl thioacrylate and S-methyl 3-(methylthio)thiopropionate.
(Thioesters are compounds that result from the reaction of an acid with a sulfur-containing alcohol. They tend to be smelly.)
The thioacrylate recipe is:
CH2=CHC(=O)SCH3
The thiopropionate is:
CH3SCH2CH2C(=O)SCH3
We are faking the above somewhat given the limitations of the ASCII character set, but I know you are grateful for whatever information we can provide.
Anyway, says Bob, the “metabolic origin [of the compounds--i.e., how and why they end up in the urine] remains an open question.” I can’t exactly say that research is continuing, but if anything develops I’ll let you know.”
Besides the fact that A-Rod said he didn’t know what he was taking I think that his apology was heart felt and honest. I would like to believe he has been clean since 2003, but who the hell knows right? He got tested for the WBC so we can at least know he has been clean since then (with 2007 being the best year of his career). I am over this A-Rod steroids thing. There is no way he can be booed any harder than he is normally so hopefully it is just business as usual.
Just a warning to every other team in baseball, A-Rod is going to have a MONSTER year this year. 45/145/.330. Done.
As you all know, there was an SI.com report on Saturday that A-Rod tested positive for steroids in 2003. This is the one person I never thought was on steroids… and have said the statement “I know for a fact that A-Rod never did steroids”. So this was an obvious surprise to me. Here are some random thoughts on this:
Selena Roberts came to A-Rod on Thursday and the story broke on Saturday. He had two days to come out ahead of this story. he did nothing. Selena asked him for a comments and he just brushed her off and told her to talk to the union. There are two ways to handle this situation, like Clemens/Bonds or like Pettite/Giambi. The only way this can somewhat go away is if he comes out and says something.. Tell your side of the story A-Rod, silence is certainly NOT golden right now.
How pissed in Joe Torre right now? He book only got two weeks of “coverage” now everything MLB is all about A-Rod. Torre got what he deserves. I wonder if this affects in NY Times #1 Best Seller chances.
Most importantly, what does this do for the Yankees season? There is ALWAYS something with A-Rod, so I am not sure if the extra coverage will bother the team. The only problem I see is if this affects A-Rod’s performance. Hopefully he has a kick ass “F YOU!” season.
What I think A-Rod should do is come out and tell the truth. Then make public all the tests he took in the past four years (I heard he took tests the past four years, but who actually knows if that is true). Finally, take a public drug test every six months for the rest of his career. The Union wouldn’t let this happen, which is bullshit, but this is the only way that he can still even be considered one of the best of all time.
Unfortunately, I feel like A-Rod is going to shut himself off to the public until spring training and just let people say anything and everything without contesting it. We all know how bad A-Rod is at managing his public image so we should expect nothing else.
Let’s say you are going to make a deposit in your company’s bathroom. You enter the stall and find this week’s Sports Illustrated stuffed into the seat protector holder. Now you are about to invest 10 minutes in this location and a some reading material would be greatly appreciated but you know that at least 5 people have made a deposit while reading this magazine. What do you do?
IF that ever happens to me, I will 100% take in a good read and enjoy my stay the best I can.
Now that the Jets have hired their new coach, Rex Ryan, there has been non-stop talk about what he is going to do with Brett Favre. Obviously Rexy can’t say anything “real” about what he plans to do, but I have one word for him: release. Release him now, before he does his long song and dance about “loving the game” but knows it may be time. Dragging it on would be horrible for the Jets and more importantly me.
Listen, I could care less about the Jets… I am in no way a fan. I don’t hate them, I just don’t care. I hate Brett Favre, can’t stand him, and don’t want to see his bearded “rugged” face at press conferences anymore.
Now, I understand he is great and works hard and loves the game and is one of the guys and etc, etc, but I am just sick of him and am not looking forward to his Swan Song version 5.
I know this is a little late, with only about $350 billion left of the stimulus package that approved by our elected officials to save our economy, but we are using this money completely wrong.
As was done in the New Deal, we needed to use this money for something that not only would create jobs, but also benefit the country’s global standing moving forward. The answer here WAS renewable energy. Renewable energy is energy generated from natural resources (sun, wind, rain, etc).
Instead of spending billions of dollars on a failing auto industry why not CREATE an industry that this country, and world, desperately needs? You say we need to save all the jobs in Detroit? Well, let’s replace those jobs with solar panel factory jobs.
America built itself up to be the world power it is by ingenuity and innovation and if we are to remain a world power we need to LEAD the industry of renewable energy.
With that said, I fully support the porn industry bailout… if porn isn’t recession proof NOTHING is.
Let’s say you are going to make a deposit in your company’s bathroom. You enter the stall and find this week’s Sports Illustrated stuffed into the seat protector holder. Now you are about to invest 10 minutes in this location and a some reading material would be greatly appreciated but you know that at least 5 people have made a deposit while reading this magazine. What do you do?
Now that the Jets have hired their new coach, Rex Ryan, there has been non-stop talk about what he is going to do with Brett Favre. Obviously Rexy can’t say anything “real” about what he plans to do, but I have one word for him: release. Release him now, before he does his long song and dance about “loving the game” but knows it may be time. Dragging it on would be horrible for the Jets and more importantly me.