As most Jets fans were, I was psyched to watch Mike T and the boys wheel and deal all off season long. Here’s how I was feeling about 3 of our key off-season acquisitions.

The Smoker

The acquisition of Santonio Holmes was troubling to some. But I like him. He smokes weed, wins Superbowl MVPs and like myself, has no clue why the fuck you need to remove your head phones as your flight taxis across the run way. He’ll miss the first 4 games, but I can deal with it. Especially for the minuscule price of a 5th round pick. My gut says you’ll still see him grab 6-700 receiving yards this year. That’s right, your man Money said it.

The Nympho

Antonio Cromartie can impregnate the world for all I care. In fact how could you not be impressed by the guy’s sexual prowess? 7 kids 6 women, 5 states? I mean, I’m speechless. The guy has poor judgement and super sperm; what can you do? But Woody is paying him to lock down receivers not keep his dick in his pants. I have to say Woody Johnson has impeccable taste. Acquire a star player and give him an advance on his salary so he can pay his overdue child support. That’s class. Cromartie ends up with 65 tackles 3 sacks and 5 interceptions in 2010. Get at me.

The D-bag

Mr. Jason Taylor (Of Dancing with the Stars fame) has been a nemesis of Gang Green since he came into the league 13 years ago. And for good reason. The guy has been sacking Jet Quarterbacks for as long as I can remember. But now he’s one of us. At first I was pleased to have a legitimate edge rusher on our number one ranked defense. But then he goes and says this fucking horseshit “”I still love Miami” and prior to that, “It’s like chasing a girl that doesn’t want to date you anymore.” Cringe, gag, vomit. Call the fucking wahmbulance. No one is saying you shouldn’t be upset. In fact, the Dolphins as an organization should be embarrassed for the way they handled this. But really Jason? this is the way you want to start your tenure here? With a fan base that already despises you? He’ll have half of the 12 sacks Sexy Rexy promised but I hope he gets booed until we grab a 1st round bye and home-field advantage throughout the 2010 playoffs.

Just a few thoughts for that ass. In other related news, Mark Sanchez may be the son of Zeus.

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I guess the Saints were doing this chant all year. I only heard about it when they beat the Vikings in the NFC Championship. Or should I say the vikings gave them the game then Brett Favre literally threw the game away because he is an egotistical asshole who wouldn’t slide because he wanted to make one more big play so it was all about him and then when it didn’t work he had someone put pictures of his leg and ankle on the internet to show how tough he is… oh god. I think I just had a stroke. ANYWAYS the clip is lame until the end when he starts screaming and going nuts to “win agAIn” over and over. Pretty cool shit.

Bottom line… screw you Brett Favre. No, I am not grateful for where “you” took the Vikings this season. Super Bowl or bust asshole!

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The Vikings are 4 – 0 and a top three team in the NFC (Saints & Giants).  Adrian Peterson is a freak of nature and gives me a semi when he runs the ball.  The defense is sick with few holes that seem apparent after four games.  Brett Favre, while it hurts to say, has played really well.  I am still skeptical about his long term effectiveness he is picking apart defenses, who have to account for All Day, like it was college.  I’m still waiting for the hammer to drop after six or so games, as happened the past few years with him, but right now I… ugh… am happy he is on my team.

I will now rub my eyes with soap.

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FAVRE DID IT! Greg Lewis who dove, jumped and grabbed the football with his finger tips had nothing to do with it. Favre is just so good that he MADE Lewis make that catch.

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I can watch videos of people from Boston flipping their shit. It is just hilarious.

On a side note, SLTHQ was moved to Giants Stadium on Sunday for the Jets/Pats game and I must say that was the loudest effing stadium I have ever been in my life. I have been at countless Red Sox/Playoff games at the old Yankee Stadium and it never got that loud. Kudos to you Jets fans.

Thanks to Boston Barstool for the video

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““We’re going to be playing this game like it’s the Super Bowl,” ”

Champs say

“They can treat it however they want to treat it. We’re going to treat it like we treat every game and we’re going to put everything we have into it,”

Chumps

Call all their season ticket holder to get loud

Champs

Our fans just get loud

Thanks Fremdog for the video

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2009 record 3-4
LOCK OF THE WEEK 1-0

Tonight’s picks (lines from BETUS.com)

Pats -12.5  -they score 20+ more points than the check down happy Trent Edwards and the 5 new OLine Bills.

SD -10 – Come on Al Davis, Seymour is going to play 80% of the snaps? HE HAS NOT PRACTICED WITH YOUR TEAM.

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So it was a tough start for the Hurricane in the 2009 Football season. GT totally had this game in hand but it was one of those classic cases of the team is up to much in the 1st half and totally folds in the second, which allows Clemson to come back, but anyway, here are some of my picks for this weekend

Current 2009 Record – 0-1

Jets @ Houston (-4.5)

• Do I even need to really go into this, the Texans and Mario Williams are going to DEMOLISH Sanchez and his 1st start

Miami (+4.5) @ Atlanta

• I Love Matty Ice but I still think Miami and their defense will bring just enough to keep this game with in a field goal

Philly (+1.5) @ Carolina

• This is a joke, Philly is one of the top teams in the NFC, they have great CB’s who will give the Carolina Offense hell all day, they win outright

Chicago @ GB (-3.5)

• This is a very interesting match-up but I just am not sold on Cutler at all. Who exactly is he throwing the ball to?

 Minn (-3.5) @ Cleveland

• Look I hate Brett Farve as much as everyone, but when will he be at his best? The first 8 weeks. When will AP be at his best? The first 17 weeks, so basically this is my LOCK OF THE WEEK

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So the much anticipated series “If I was a betting man” is back. On a weekly basis I will give you 5-6 NFL picks based on the spread and maybe 1 or 2 NCAA picks. We will lead off this year with the below

2009 Record 0-0

Thursday Clemson @ Georgia Tech -4.5

This honestly is a joke of a line.. PUT ALL YOUR MONEY ON GT.   Clemson has 5 days to prepare for the Flexbone offense GT is running . This is very complex and all your defensive people need to be in the right place at all times..  GT Had 300+ yards rushing last week lead by Dwyer (ACC Player of the year last year, aguable best RB in the game) and Josh Nesbitt (Option QB). Now while a few of the players had a case of the fumbles they easily beast Jacksonville and will do the Same to Clemson. Georgia wins by 19.

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• Richard Seymour
• Rodney Harrison
• Teddy Bruschi
• Mike Vrabel

Back:

• TOM BRADY 

What does this mean? Championship!

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