Tonight is the start of NBA Finals between the Lakers and Celtics… or how it is otherwise called “non-stop hightlights of the Celtics/Lakers rivalry over the past 50 years”. I am giddy for the Magic Johnson highlight reels that will be shown… like this one (This will 100% be the best 7 minutes of your day):
(This is awkward… I’m legit aroused after watching that. He was so G-D good. So much more entertaining than watching highlights of people just dunking.)
With that said… I am calling Lakers in 5. Here is my reasoning:
Kobe > Everyone. Kobe wants to be the best Laker ever (and also the best player ever) and he can never become that without beating the Celtics. There is so much hatred between these two teams and Kobe needs to fix the catastrophe that was the 2008 Finals. Say what you want about Kobe as a person, but he wants to win and be great… that is all he cares about (unlike Lebron who just wants to Amaze)
Pau Gasol > Kevin Garnett. This is not 2008 anymore. Kevin Garnett is a semi-factor for the Celtics but he could be the reason for their win/loss. If Pau Gasol works him this series, the Celtics have no chance but if KG gets SOME of his 2008 life back it will be a lot tougher for the Lake Show.
Ron Artest > Being Sane. I friggin love this guy. From his ridiculously stupid 3-point attempt in Game 6 to his game winning put-back you literally have no idea what he is going to do. I love him for that. But seriously… what he brings to the Lakers that Trevor Ariza certainly wasn’t, is that tough as shit shut-down defender. Good luck with this series Pierce. You might as well start whining and bitching now.
Other than they both won a title while a key Boston player was out? They both rape chicks with the old “come to my room to change my towels or fix me TV”, a classic.
NBC - In a complaint that reads like the rape allegations made several years ago against NBA star Kobe Bryant, Harrah’s employee Andrea McNulty alleges sexual assault against Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in a lawsuit filed last week in Washoe County, Nevada. But lawyer David Cornwell strongly denied the allegations Monday night, in a statement released to PFT. “Ben has never sexually assaulted anyone; especially Andrea McNulty,” Cornwell said. In the civil suit, which Cornwell confirms was served on Roethlisberger over the weekend and a copy of which our own Gregg Rosenthal has obtained, McNulty alleges that Roethlisberger asked her to come to his hotel room to fix the television, and that he thereafter forced her to have sex with him. Roethlisberger faces one civil count of assault, one civil count of sexual assault and battery, one civil count of false imprisonment, one civil count of false pretenses, one civil count of fraud, and one civil count of intentional infliction of emotional distress.
DAM dude, Lebron is litterally getting killed over this kid dunking on him. I think if the video had actually come out it would have been a non-story, but now you got dudes who rape chicks talking smake about him..
I just do not understand why companies continue to have rapists (Kobe) as their spokes people instead of stand up guys Like Jon Lester. Look I have cried to many a things, I have cried to Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, I have cried to Love Actually, I have cried when my bother used to beat me up and I have cried when people turn on the lights as some sort of a sick joke in the game “who’s hand”, but I do not believe I have ever gotten anywhere close to emotional during a 30 second commercial. Fucking right Jon Lester, Fucking right.
Jon Lester featured in new Nike Livestrong campaign
If you have any tips, links, videos or anything that we may find amusing email us atsomeloosethoughts@gmail.com
The best part of this pic is Kobe looming in the background thinking to himself “why can’t I be down with the fellers?”. Hilarious.
But I digress. So Shaq was traded to the Cavs last night for two contracts, a draft pick that will never play in the NBA and a sack of cash. In a classic panic move, the Cavs took on Shaq to defend Dwight Howard because Dwight Howard beat them in the playoffs this year. Here is the unofficial statement that Cavs ownership sent to Lebron after the trade:
See? We will do ANYTHING to get you a championship. And by ANYTHING we mean we will get an aged center who has been known to hog the spotlight and has played for 4 teams in 5 years. Please don’t leave us next year. If you want, we will sign any aging player we can get our hands on. We know that the pick-n-roll is what killed us during the Orlando series, and that Shaq is not even close to quick enough to help with that but we are VERY confident he will convince you that Cleveland is the best.
I really hope this ends badly and Shaq can just retire and be out of our lives for ever. And by out of our lives I mean in a studio and on every single medium so he gets as much attention as possible.
Oh, and just for the record, I bet Kobe’s ass tastes MUCH better than Lebron’s.
You know in sports team comradery is huge. You see it with the Celtics all the time. When Rondo gets hit and falls down KG or Pierce is right there to pick them up. Same with the Lakers, when Ariza gets knocked down Kobe goes right over and umm, oh wait, bad example.
But seriously is there a worse Job in sports than grounds crew? Every time you go out there you get boo’d and the rest of the crew will literally just let your ass fall to the ground and run the tarp over your head.
I literally hate waiting in line. It is probably my biggest pet peeves ever. Always shifting weight from one leg to the other. Then do you sit? What if the line moves a little, do you get up and walk a little, then sit again or do you drag your ass on the ground. Personally I do neither and I do not stand in line unless 100% warranted.
But reasons people stand in line for:
New IPhone at Apple store
Getting into a bar/club
Going to an amusment park
Going to a golf event
Getting a beer at a sporting event
and lastly, what Arthur has been waiting in line for, for 2 days:
#21355 ‘09 NBA Champs Kobe Bryant Life Size Bobblehead
$13,000.00
*PRE-ORDER ITEM*
This item will begin shipping in September 15, 2009. If other items are ordered with this item the instock items will ship ASAP as a partial shipment. This item will then ship once received at our distribution center. — this item takes 90-120 days to ship from the day it is ordered.
Does anyone else think last nights championship was a joke? Yeah Kobe won the title because Kevin Garnett was injured, yeahhhh!!!!!!!!… Such a joke, I am calling for an asterisk.
Here is what Kobe was thinking during every single question that was asked last night:
“Bite me Shaq”
It was funny to see Kobe celebrate with his teammates… you can just tell that they don’t like him personally. But, he won them all a championship so they should at least be grateful.
Kobe’s NBA Finals Line:
Points – 32.4
Assists – 7.4
Rebounds – 5.6
Steals – 1.4
Blocks – 1.4
Girls Raped – 0
All-in-all just a fantastic performance by the games best player (not LBJ).
So Kobe last night almost single handily lost the game for the Lakers. With 5 seconds left Kobe decided to try and dribble through 4 players instead of passing the ball to a wide open Ariza or Odom. Lucky for him the coach of the Magic, Ron Jeremy, decided to run a play to his 4th best player for the game winning shot, thus went to overtime.
So with this is mind I now post for you one of the greatest video’s we at SLT have ever posted. Do you ever wake up and wonder what happened to the chick that was raped banged by Kobe? Well I am not sure exactlywhat she is doing, but I am pretty sure she has just begun a new rap career. One can only assume she dropped the “e” off rape and went with it. What is her first song?
”5 years ago, date raped by Kobe”
“I was in Colorado, workin’ at at hotel. When Kobe rang the bell.
He said bring me some towels. Then he bent me over a chair, pulled out my hair, and tore out my bowels. Kobe bought his wife a diamond ring, to make up for being reckless. But I also got some bring when he pulled out his ring and gave me……..A PEARL NECKLACE”
Side note – I don’t actually think this is the same chick…probably 80% sure on that
