If you can’t get psyched for tonight’s game then I don’t know what to tell you. Lakers. Celtics. Game 7. That’s literally all that needs to be said. There are only two things that can happen tonight:
If this happens I completely mess myself at the bar:
If this happens I move out of my apartment:
Buzz Bissinger has a great article in the NY Times today on where he thinks Lebron’s next move will be. He co-wrote Shooting Stars with Lebron so I guess that gives him a better idea of what LBJ will go… or not. Who the hell knows. In any rate, this is the best article/opinion I have seen about where Lebron will go… until now.
There are only three teams where LBJ will go:
A lot of people are saying he is going to go to Chicago (best chance to win immediately) or stay in Cleveland (was born in Akron, home town hero, etc) and I couldn’t disagree more. As I have mentioned, LBJ does not care about anything but his brand. He could care less about winning. He wants celebrities sitting courtside and to become better than Jordan (as a Global brand). I don’t hate on him for it, as a fervent capitalist I applaud his effort… sooner or later everyone will realize the same thing.
Prediction: LBJ will be a New York Knick. Lock it down.
The New Jersey Nets are 100% my second favorite team. The possibilities with this new owner Mikhail Prokhorov are endless. Will he hire Russian prostitutes as cheerleaders? Probably. Will he challenge Mark Cuban to a duel? Most likely. Will he knock out a referee and then bang one of the said “cheerleaders” on center court? 100%. He is like a rich Ivan Drago… I am giddy about what may happen next year.
When the Nets didn’t get the number 1 pick last night in the draft I thought he was going to upper cut this lady who was representing the Wizards. Would anyone have been surprised?
As discussed previously on SLT and EVERYWHERE ELSE in the world, Lebron James/Nike confiscated all footage of Lebron getting dunked on by some kid who was attending the Nike/Lebron Basketball camp. Well guess what… the video finally leaked.
This is what all the hype was about? He barely got dunked on by some uber-athletic young kid. Is that a huge surprise? Does that mean that this Jamal Crawford fella is better than LBJ? If Nike and the Lebron camp didn’t try and hide the video this would have been a non-story… good call.
This video sucks. I admit it. There is some joke here about how this dog is better than 75% of the draft picks last night but that is too obvious. It is a slow afternoon here at SLTHQ. We are currently practicing our MJ dance moves for SLT’s Memoriam Showcase tonight at Naked Lunch… but this time Hurricane will grab his own crotch.
If you have any tips, links, videos or anything that we may find amusing email us atsomeloosethoughts@gmail.com
The best part of this pic is Kobe looming in the background thinking to himself “why can’t I be down with the fellers?”. Hilarious.
But I digress. So Shaq was traded to the Cavs last night for two contracts, a draft pick that will never play in the NBA and a sack of cash. In a classic panic move, the Cavs took on Shaq to defend Dwight Howard because Dwight Howard beat them in the playoffs this year. Here is the unofficial statement that Cavs ownership sent to Lebron after the trade:
See? We will do ANYTHING to get you a championship. And by ANYTHING we mean we will get an aged center who has been known to hog the spotlight and has played for 4 teams in 5 years. Please don’t leave us next year. If you want, we will sign any aging player we can get our hands on. We know that the pick-n-roll is what killed us during the Orlando series, and that Shaq is not even close to quick enough to help with that but we are VERY confident he will convince you that Cleveland is the best.
I really hope this ends badly and Shaq can just retire and be out of our lives for ever. And by out of our lives I mean in a studio and on every single medium so he gets as much attention as possible.
Oh, and just for the record, I bet Kobe’s ass tastes MUCH better than Lebron’s.
Here is what Kobe was thinking during every single question that was asked last night:
“Bite me Shaq”
It was funny to see Kobe celebrate with his teammates… you can just tell that they don’t like him personally. But, he won them all a championship so they should at least be grateful.
Kobe’s NBA Finals Line:
All-in-all just a fantastic performance by the games best player (not LBJ).
So on my B-day, which is next Wednesday Tim Donaghy is to be released from prison. For all of you that do not know who that is probably need not read on. No, just kidding, please come back, I will explain. He was an NBA ref who took bribes from the Mob to affect the final scores of games. He of course got caught and sang like a Arthur in the shower and was sent to prison for 18 months or something..
Anyway, not sure how this happened, but he did not get killed, so that is a good thing for him, but he did get assaulted by a “large hard object” hmmm..ok not a hard object, the report is heavy, but one can only assume what the real story was.
Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy will be released from prison on June 17, 2009. Donaghy, convicted for betting on professional basketball is serving a 15-month sentence at the federal prison camp in Pensacola, Florida. Donaghy’s release date has recently been in question due to concerns about his medical condition. Donaghy was injured during an assault in November of 2008. During the assault, another inmate claiming ties to the New York mob beat Donaghy with a heavy object. Donaghy suffered severe knee and leg injuries that will require surgery. Donaghy will complete his prison term at a halfway house in Tampa Florida.
In honor of the Lakers stepping up like a true championship caliber team and putting the hurt on the Rockets in Game 7 here is the latest installment of the Where Will Amazing Happen? parodies. Did anyone see what happened in the Celtics game? (burn)
The Houston Rockets, without Yao and Tracy, forced the Lakers to a game 7? Really? How can the Lakers blow out the Rockets by 40 in Game 5 then get outscored 27 – 15 in the 1st quarter? If Luis Scola and Aaron Brooks light you up for a combined 50 points you need to reevaluate things a bit.
This guy? Really?
On a positive note, there are two game 7’s on Sunday… Sunday Funday indeed.